So Hard to Say
by
Alex Sanchez
Hardcover: 240 pages, $14.95
Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing
1st edition (October 1, 2004)
ISBN: 0689865643
GLBT characters have become more frequently and prominently seen in
mainstream and cable television programs and in best-selling young
adult books such as Alex Sanchez’s Rainbow bookends, Rainbow Boys and Rainbow High, also published by
Simon & Schuster.
Ironically, the cacophony of anti-gay rhetoric from TV gospel preachers
across the land and the fanaticism of homophobic politician’s positions
on gay marriages have almost certainly provoked young people to examine
their feelings about their own and the opposite sex in both greater
numbers and at earlier ages. A year ago USA Today reported the coming out
of nine- and ten-year-old children, and a friend recently told this
author he knew he was gay as early as the age of four years. It was not
because he wanted a Barbie Doll for his birthday, either. He is
strictly a G. I. Joe kind of guy!
With youths questioning their sexual feelings at ever earlier ages, it
seems entirely appropriate that best-selling author and former school
counselor Alex Sanchez shift his focus from the high school seniors in
his Rainbow Series to middle school students in this newest novel, So Hard to Say.
Sanchez’s writing approach is much the same as in his earlier novels.
Alternating chapters of first person narratives work especially well
when focused upon the southern California middle school milieu. The
youthful, thirteen-year-old voices add a kind of verisimilitude to the
proceedings that an adult third-person narration would completely miss.
“My all-time favorite thing is to laze is bed, talking on the phone
with friends – hopping from one call to the next. I think Call Waiting
is the best invention ever.”
When spoken by eighth-grader XIO – pronounced C.O. (it rhymes with
Leo.), one of Sanchez’s two leading character creations, these words
and her other passions: BOYS, her circle of friends, school gossip, her
single and dateless mother, her pesky younger brother Stevie, and her
obsession with horoscopes, readers will almost certainly believe they
are truly hearing the voice of a vivacious, effervescent, and even
“hot” (according to some of the macho boys on the cusp of their own
sexual young manhood) eighth-grade girl overflowing with life.
Xio is a gutsy, big-hearted, vulnerable, yet resilient and
irrepressible heroine that all readers, straight or gay, are going to
love. She is a wonderfully literary creation. Indeed, her voice is so
strong and sure and she is such a successfully realized character –
especially adept at storytelling -- that readers will swear she is real
and that Alex Sanchez has taken a sabbatical and turned this novel over
to her. When Xio speaks, everyone listens.
Xio is thirteen, goes to San Cayetano Middle School, is desperately
waiting for a BOYFRIEND, and for awhile destiny seems to have come her
way.
“Today a new boy arrived in first period – white, kind of small,
with kick-butt blue eyes and sandy blond hair spiked in front that made
me want to whoosh my fingers through it.”
Xio’s best friend is Carmen who does have a boyfriend, Victor, the
hunky super stud of the eighth-grade set. Victor is tall, athletic,
dark, and handsome and definitely finding it easy to be the #1 guy in
his middle school. Victor is the captain of the after-school soccer
team and he has a throng of admirers from both sexes.
Xio belongs to a special group of friends who call themselves Las Sexy
Seis (the Sexy six). Besides Xio and Carmen, they consist of Nora, the
brain, Maria, the conscience of the group, and Josefina or Jose, for
short, the circle’s most butch and athletic member. Technically, the
Sexy six are now only five as their friend Gloria has moved away over
the summer.
The alternating narrator is Frederick — (not Fred or Freddy, or Rick or
Ricky) — “It’s Frederick.” Frederick moves to southern California from
Wisconsin. He initially misses his small collection of middle school
drama club buddies (San Cayetano Middle School does not even have a
drama club.) Janice, Marcie, and William with whom he remains in
electronic communication for awhile, but the two-hour time difference
between Wisconsin and California effectively isolates Frederick even
more and he hears less and less from his former small support group.
His mother is an accountant who is over protective of her asthmatic
only child and Frederick’s father is a chemical engineer, easy going,
and an avid golfer.
Frederick is timid and even fearful of his inner thoughts. Why, for
example, does he fear the set-up romantic interludes with Xio and think
only of Victor when he is forced to kiss Xio for 15 minutes behind a
closed door at her party or holding hands with her at the movies?
Both Frederick and Xio have strong extended families and even if they
are not perfect, family holidays are major turning points in the
evolving plot of the novel.
Thanksgiving is a super critical happening in the evolving drama of
Frederick’s life. His parents cannot afford a trip back to Wisconsin to
visit his grandmother, friends, and share beloved holiday traditions,
and he is not even allowed to settle for a fiesta-like celebration with
Xio’s family at her invitation. No, Thanksgiving must be spent at the
home of his parents’ realtor, a fate that causes Frederic great fear
and anxiety because the realtor’s younger son Iggy is widely ostracized
as THE FAGGOT at San Cayetano Middle School. Even in his own home
Iggy’s older brother Juan yells to him, “Hey, faggot!” ordering him to
greet Frederick and his parents when they arrive for Thanksgiving
dinner. What will his new friends such as Xio and Victor say when they
learn he spent Thanksgiving with Iggy? Frederick cannot even stand the
thought of holding Iggy’s hand during the communal prayer of
Thanksgiving. But, after dinner Frederick surprisingly finds out that
he likes Iggy when he discovers not only their shared interest in
drawing but that Iggy is friendly and a genuinely nice guy who also has
an awesome pet, a fun and talkative parakeet named Pete.
Christmas means a trip to cold and chilly Eau Claire for Frederick
while it is a burst of beautiful Mexican holiday traditions in
Guadalajara, “the pearl of western Mexico,” plus a visit to
grandparents and cousins for Xio. Both of Xio’s parents were born in
Mexico, but met and married in California where she and her brother
were born. Xio believes her Mami has gone without romance for so long
that her heart is turning cold. Her Papi has mysteriously moved out of
their family home and into a new life with another man in San
Francisco.
With the end of the traditional holiday season and the return to school
in the new year, a confrontation between the ever maturing and
infatuated Xio and the insecure and doubtful Frederick is
inevitable.
The circumstances in the lives of the two key characters of So Hard to Say are not as
complicated nor as involved as those of Jason Carrillo, Kyle Meeks, and
Nelson Glassman in Sanchez’s Rainbow Series, but in other ways his
latest novel is even more satisfying.
Sanchez has at least three positive qualities working for him in So Hard to Say. First, he has a
marvelous ear for middle school language. The dialogue and the
characters’ interior monologues are terrific. The voices of Xio and
Frederick ring so very true. It is obvious that Sanchez has been a
school counselor and has been both an attentive and sympathetic
listener to the ever-changing, gradually maturing middle school voices.
He has perfect pitch when it comes to the authority of middle school
speech. The voices of Xio and Frederick seem even more authentic than
those of the more mature Jason, Kyle, and Nelson in Rainbow Boys (Simon & Schuster,
2001).
Second, Sanchez never loses an ounce of respect for his hero and
heroine. Yes, they are only 13 years-old and Xio is definitely prone to
be over the top. The onset of her sexual development is beginning to go
off like July 4th rockets, yet he never belittles the emotional depth
of the feelings of any of these wonderful flesh and blood young middle
school youths who are initially discovering the vagaries and
complications of life that precede adult maturity and wisdom. Sanchez
obviously cares deeply about Frederick, Xio, Victor, Carmen, and his
other characters and their passions, and by extension the emotions and
attitudes of millions of real-life younger people who are going down
similar pathways.
Despite the seriousness of the subject matter, the novel is filled with
Sanchez’s third gift, an adroit sense of humor. Xio’s irrepressible
exuberance and Frederick’s often awkward handling of her advances when
she zeroes in on him as her primary love interest will, at the very
least, produce knowing smiles, if not outright laughter. But the humor
is never mean-spirited; it is shared mirth with every reader knowing he
or she has been down the same difficult, awkward road of surviving the
impossibly frustrating age of thirteen! Sanchez laughs with his
characters, but never at them.
One particular criticism. In Rainbow
Boys (Simon & Schuster, 2001), Sanchez and his publisher
devoted substantial space at the end of the book to provide GLBT youths
with valuable information about homosexual issues, support groups, and
advocacy. Perhaps the publisher believed middle school students are too
young for such information, but the exact opposite is true. Middle
School students need positive and supportive information far more than
older and wiser high school seniors do. When a seventh-grader hears a
frenzied minister use God’s pulpit to tell him God hates gays and that
all gays will burn in Hell for eternity, he is far more impressionable
than high school seniors such as Jason or Nelson or Kyle.
Moreover, undirected, unsure, and fearful gay middle school students
are apt to land at gay porn sites if they simply enter the words “gay”
or “lesbian” in Google or Yahoo! searches. Middle school students
need to be directed to EXACT postal and web addresses that will lead to
healthy and highly positive messages of love, acceptance, and
reassurance. A few pertinent suggested web sites about positive gay
news stories, issues, and age-appropriate chat rooms addresses would
have done this age group of students a world of good and even perhaps
saved some lives. It is a shame they are missing. Indeed, it is even
more of a surprise since near the end of So Hard to Say, the self-accepting
gay youth Iggy tells the confused and bewildered Frederick that
although he has no friends at school, he has lots of friends his own
age that he has met on the Internet. “There’s even a girl in
Alaska,” he cheerfully adds.
The closest thing to sex in So Hard
to Say is kissing (or the reputed but unsubstantiated claim of
Carmen that she bared her breasts for Victor’s visual pleasure).
Sanchez gives all his central characters love, caring, and sympathy for
their shared pangs of growing up. Hence, there is really no reason why
this novel should not be read by a wide audience of middle school
youth. It will be a shame and disservice to students if this novel is
widely banned by community bigots because of the significantly
important but relatively small amount of print space devoted to
homosexuality. The feelings, dreams, hopes and just plain survival of
middle school is so very well handled in the So Hard to Say that it should be
required reading for everyone who passes through adolescent angst, and
who doesn’t? This novel will be terrific for focus group discussions
about human variety and differences as well as the inherent capacity to
love that young people should learn to cultivate and trust.
Frederick’s courage is to be applauded just as Xio’s love of life is to
be saluted and embraced. These are two young characters who really seem
to come alive for readers and these same readers are going to remember
and truly care about them for a long time to come. Sanchez leaves
readers of all ages with much to ponder. Who could ask for anything
more?
—Jerry Flack,
Denver, Colorado
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Walt Whitman: Words for America
by Barbara Kerley,
Illus. by Brian Selznick
Hardcover: 56 pages, $16.95
Scholastic Press (October 1, 2004)
ISBN: 0439357918
A children’s picture book biography may appear to be an unusual choice
for a book review in The Independent
Gay Writer, a GLBT adult publication. But all groups of people
deserve their noble history to share among themselves, with their
children, family, and friends and the majority culture has too often
robbed not only minorities such as Native Americans and African
Americans of their heroes, but also hidden from history great women
such as Victoria Woodhull, the first woman to be nominated by a
political convention to run for president of the Untied States in 1872.
Perhaps more than any other class of the population, the GLBT
population has been denied its history and its heroic contributions to
world culture and history. GLBT persons have both a need for and a
right to proudly salute gay men and women who have made America and the
world great.
It may never be proved that Walt Whitman, the father of American poetry
and the nation’s greatest poet was a gay man, but he wrote the first
homoerotic poetry published in the nation and he is increasingly
accepted by historians to have been gay. Whitman never married and he
engaged in what appear to have been committed long-term romantic unions
with at least two younger men, Peter Doyle and Harry Stafford. Some
historians say he even presented Stafford with a wedding ring. Before
visiting famed naturalist John Burroughs, Whitman wrote to his host
that he and young Stafford would need to share the same bed and
bedroom. He met with both Oscar Wilde and Edward Carpenter in America
and carried on a correspondence with John Addington Symonds. These
three men were the most influential, prominent, and famous 19th century
British homosexuals.
In the 1860 version of his grand opus Leaves of Grass, Whitman
included a section titled “Calamus” that contained the poem “A Glimpse”
in which he unashamedly describes tenderly holding hands with a young
man and of their silent love for one another. Intriguingly, Whitman
referred to male love with the term “adhesiveness.” Three recent works
of gay scholarship claim Whitman as a GLBT notable. Steve Hogan and Lee
Hudson outline the poet’s homosexual life in Completely Queer: The Gay and Lesbian
Encyclopedia (Henry Holt, 1998), and Paul Russell lists Whitman
in the number six position in his series of homosexual profiles, The Gay 100: A Ranking of the Most
Influential Gay Men and Lesbians, Past and Present (Citadel
Press, 1995). Gary Schmidgall’s Walt
Whitman: A Gay Life (Dutton, 1997) was a best selling biography.
When concerned citizens in Dallas, Texas founded one of the first high
schools in America for sexually diverse students it was called Walt
Whitman High School.
Walt Whitman: Words for
America is essentially three books in one. First and foremost it
is a sophisticated picture book biography of Walt Whitman, focusing
particularly attention on his Civil War service as a volunteer nurse.
Whitman’s homosexuality is not discussed in the book but his work as a
caring nurse to critically injured men during the Civil War is the
center point of the biography in which Whitman is portrayed as a
compassionate, loving, and unbelievably kind man. Second, the book
contains appended scholarly material about both the life of Whitman and
Lincoln’s presidency as well as substantial reference notes about how
both the author and the illustrator chose Whitman for their subject and
how they conducted and documented their exacting research. Finally, a
minimum of eight of Whitman’s greatest poems, including, “Song of
Myself,” “O Captain! My Captain!” and “I Sing the Body Electric” are
enclosed in this beautiful tribute.
The biography of Walt Whitman for children is quite enjoyable and
highly informative for readers of all ages. Many readers, for example,
are aware that Whitman served as a nurse during the Civil War, but few
are likely to realize the extent of his tireless bravery. He was not so
much a pacifist as simply too elderly —nearly 42—to join the Union Army
when war commenced on April 12, 1861. His beloved younger brother
George did, however, march off to war in his Union Blue. Whitman at
first contributed his part to the Union cause by writing military verse
such as “Beat! Beat! Drums!” and wrote a book of Civil War poetry
entitled Drum-Taps.
Whitman scanned papers daily to see if George’s name was listed among
the dead or wounded. When a notice about George finally did appear,
Whitman immediately began a trek to Washington D.C., and not finding
him there joined southward-bound troop trains to battle fields where he
served as a nurse to tend the horribly wounded men. He eventually found
his brother George at Falmouth, Virginia, patched his wounds,
bivouacked with George’s comrades-in-arms, tended their wounds as well
and returned to Washington to work endlessly as a nurse for critically
wounded men, black and white, Union and Confederate.
He exhausted himself to the point of worry on the part of doctors about
his own health. (He was forced by doctors to rest in 1864.) He never
regained the full body masculinity and robust health he had enjoyed
prior to the war. As a nurse, he fed, bathed, changed bandages, and
spent hours with lonely, dying soldiers. Whitman stayed up all through
the night with dying men, time and again soothing their fevered brows,
gently talking to them, and after they were gone, he would write loving
and compassionate letters to the victims’ families so they knew their
sons had not died abandoned and all alone.
Whitman was a great admirer of Abraham Lincoln. Both had traveled
the length of the nation, had witnessed slavery first hand, and were
emotionally torn. Each believed that slavery was an abomination, but
also believed that dissolution of the Union would be a great tragedy.
Whitman glimpsed Lincoln when he visited New York City on his way from
Springfield to Washington, D. C. to be inaugurated as president. Later,
during his service as a nurse in Washington, Whitman on his daily walks
often saw and nodded to President Lincoln who frequently went for
morning horseback rides. He came to worship Lincoln and wrote two
masterpieces of poetry about the president following his assassination.
Whitman’s “O Captain! My Captain!” and “When Lilacs Last in the
Dooryard Bloom’d” remain the most beautiful elegies ever written about
the martyred Lincoln. Whitman traveled by train from New York to
Washington to view Lincoln’s body one final time.
In a curious bit of historical coincidence, Lincoln’s Illinois law
partner purchased an early copy of Leaves
of Grass that Lincoln loved to read. He took it home to read at
his leisure, but barely rescued the copy from the flames of the enraged
women of the Lincoln household who thought the book was obscene. From
that time forward, Lincoln only read Whitman’s masterpiece of poetry in
his office!
Whitman was born May 31, 1819, one of eight children. His father was a
carpenter both on Long Island and in Brooklyn and the family moved
often. Whitman attended school for a short time but was primarily
self-educated. At the age of eleven he became an office boy and he was
apprenticed as a typesetter by age twelve. Ever enterprising, by the
age of nineteen, he wrote, typeset, printed, and delivered his own
newspaper on Long Island prior to the Civil War. In addition to his
newspaper career and war service as a nurse, Whitman was a versatile
and hardworking man who at various points in his life was a carpenter,
school teacher, clerk, and poet. He created hand-stitched notebooks
that he used to note observations of America on his many travels by
foot. In 1855, he typeset and published the first edition of Leaves of Grass. He would edit and
enlarge his masterpiece eight times before his death on March 26, 1892.
As fine a biographer as Kerley is, the grandeur of this book truly
belongs to the artist, Brian Selznick, who is a genius of both
illustration and the art of book design. The illustrations are both
rich in variety and sublime in their beauty. He creates sweeping
spreads of the Civil War, intimate yet impressive portraits of Whitman
and Lincoln, and incredible miniature illustrated daguerreotypes of
soldiers of every race, age, and army served.
Selznick previously collaborated in 2001 with Kerley on another picture
book biography of the 19th century British scientist who created the
first-ever models of dinosaurs, The
Dinosaurs of Waterhouse Hawkins (Scholastic, 2001). The
book was the recipient of a Caldecott Honor Medal (Best American
picture book of the year). He has also collaborated twice with author
Pam Munoz Ryan to fashion outstanding biography picture books of Marian
Anderson, When Marian Sang
(Scholastic, 2002), and Amelia and
Eleanor Go for a Ride (Scholastic, 1999), the latter being a
memoir of a particular incident drawn from the lives of Eleanor
Roosevelt and Amelia Earhart. Both of the latter biographies are
rendered in striking monotones with exacting details and bold, sweeping
panoramic scenes.
Selznick believes in absolute authenticity, especially in picture books
for youths. For his memoir of Eleanor Roosevelt and Amelia Earhart, he
spent six months in Washington, D. C. researching period newspapers,
aviation archives, and White House records to uncover such miniscule
details as the exact wall paper, curtains, china pattern, and silver
that was used when the First Lady entertained Amelia Earhart for dinner
at the White House in the 1930s.
For Walt Whitman: Words for America,
Selznick followed in the footsteps of Whitman’s life. He learned the
trade of mid-nineteenth-century type setting and discovered that
printers of Whitman’s day placed capital letters on the upper shelves
of their trays of type while all other letters were kept on the lowers
shelves, hence the derivation of the words “uppercase” and “lowercase”
used today in describing type and print sizes. Selznick visited the
rare book rooms of the New York City Library and held in his own hands
the handmade, hand-stitched notebooks that Whitman made for himself in
which to keep both notes as well as compose Leaves of Grass. He visited
Whitman’s final home in Camden, New Jersey, held in his hands the shoes
Whitman had worn to travel American north and south, and stood beside
the bed where the great poet died. A short distance away, he visited
Whitman’s grave. Selznick, the artist, with his superior and rigorous
commitment to accuracy is very nearly as fascinating as his subjects.
It is stirring to discover a creative artist who is so rigorous and
religious about accuracy and detail in his work.
The book design is phenomenal as well. The handsome forest green
hardback front cover features a die-cut oval in the center allowing the
cover to serve as a Victorian-style picture frame for the masculine,
full body watercolor illustration of Whitman that is actually printed
on the front endpaper. (The back endpapers display Whitman’s grave
where gifts continue to be left to this very day.) Selznick’s genius
continues as he utilizes 19th century typeface for the title page and
then truly pulls out all the stops by symbolizing Whitman’s early work
as a typesetter through the creation of an opposing page that is a
perfect mirror (or reverse) image facsimile of the title page.
Yes, a children’s picture book may appear to be an uncommon choice to
appear in the fine pages of The
Independent Gay Writer, but the next time a young or old
visiting relative or neighbor refers to a subject, action, or behavior
with the snide words, “Oh, that’s so gay,” sit down with that person
and read together Walt Whitman:
Words for America. If they remain unmoved, quickly call 911 for
they surely must be minus both heart and mind.
—Jerry Flack,
Denver, Colorado
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